Angela Huston

THAT time has rolled around again, when my already-overloaded, rambling mind is being bombarded with a lot more useless questions for which there are no answers.

Every few years I review my collection of what can only be described as stupid questions to see if any have been resolved with anything resembling a sensible answer. Most have not, but I continue to speculate anyway. Here are some that have crept into my curious mind expecting a cursory thought or two.

Why is it that today's super-huge stores have upwards of 30 check-out lanes, but only half a dozen, located clear on the opposite side of the store, are open at one time?

Are people still wondering who the survivors are or how often the Kardashians get married? Do Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney still hold the records for eight marriages each? Did anyone have to be reminded of who Taylor and Rooney were?

Are grocery stores in cahoots with the devil when they feature some of the most scrumptuous-looking desserts during Lent? Isn't that an unfair way to test our will power?

Speaking of the devil (sort of), I still want to know why there are 15 spaces on a dish designed specifically to hold deviled eggs. What does anyone have against including that last half?

Okay, has anyone figured out where Clark Kent keeps his Superman outfit? Has anyone ever seen a lump under his suit jacket covering his cape? What does he do with his street clothes after he changes in a phone booth, unseen by anyone on a busy public street? And, for the record, where are there any phone booths?

Will the Peanuts characters ever become adults?

Seriously, what should I do if I actually see rocks falling onto the highway as I am traveling, especially if the rocks are tumbling over the sign warning me to watch out for them?

Has anyone ever considered how foolish it is to put a 'for sale' sign on their front lawn during a political campaign?

Are all postage stamps now Forever Stamps? If so, why does the price keep going up anyway?

Just who makes up the target reading audience for today's newspaper comics? Is there anyone still around who remembers Lil' Abner, Nancy, or Little Lulu? Does anyone know how old Dr. Rex Morgan really is by now?

Why are we still switching back and forth between standard and daylight saving time? Have we not figured out that the morning hour of light we gain is lost at the other end of the day?

Was it really necessary to define the combination of snow and ice as gropple? Anything falling from the sky that is wet, white, and hard is ugly enough as it is, and does not need to be further identified with what is really a peculiar name.

Will the Browns ever have a winning season again? Where are those 'Kardiac Kids' when we need them?

Perhaps the best part of my list of unanswered questions is that I actually have no need, or desire, for any real answers. These inane but harmless questions are merely observations that simply wander aimlessly in and out of my head from time to time, demanding nothing more than a passing thought acknowledging their existance.

I rather enjoy knowing every question does not have or need a logical answer. Logic can sometimes be so overrated.

I have no doubt, a few years from now I will almost certainly revisit and review my seemingly endless list again. By then, the first question that probably will be at the top will be 'why am I still making lists of stupid questions?'